dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
