I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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