No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
