her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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