TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
