using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
