So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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