It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
