i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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