I could have mohawked her pubes.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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