We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
