There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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