Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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