Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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