her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
