I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
