Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
