I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
