I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
