I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
