he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
