OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
