I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
