4 words: hood of his car
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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