If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
