I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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