I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
