if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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