You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
