And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
