i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
