the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize