The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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