he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
