Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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