i would punch a child for taco bell
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
