Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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