But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
