just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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