Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
