Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
