All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Quick, to the slutcave!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
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