thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think my vagina is haunted
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
