and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just gift wrapped bread.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize