Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
