i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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