is your mom at the bar?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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