You're so nebulous sometimes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He has the fingertips of a God
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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