well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
