Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
