Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
