So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
