I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I supernannyed him into submission
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
