Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
