I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
