We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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