She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
