You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
