so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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