I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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