Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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