Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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