Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
